Home

http://www.cthulhu-themovie.com/

I randomly ran across this tonight as I was browsing movie trailers at the Quicktime site. The trailer itself is hilarious enough as-is, but I found the synopsis the best part:

“When young history professor Russ (I sure would trust a professor named Russ) is called upon by his sister to execute their late mother’s estate (Does it need killing?), he is reunited with his boyhood chum (Who, if you watch the trailer, he sleeps with) and with his father, the charismatic leader of a New Age cult (So uh dad, what’ve you been up to? Oh. Awesome.). While exploring his memories, Russ wanders into a warehouse (In his memories?) where hundreds of names are listed on the walls. As he sleeps that night, he dreams of a stone cudgel and awakens to find a cudgel in his motel room. (What a coincidence!)

The town drunk warns Russ that it is an instrument of sacrifice, (Because clearly all drunks are to be trusted) and a young liquor store clerk (I sense a theme) enlists him to help find her brother, who she believes has been taken by the cult. Russ’ aunt, who has been living in an asylum, (Well that’s random) tells him that his mother left a message hidden in her house.

Looking for answers in the warehouse, (And clearly not his mother’s house) Russ is taken on an unbelievable journey (I know I don’t believe it) through the small town’s ancient subterranean origins. (All towns begin underground) When he escapes, he and Mike (Who?) find the girl’s brother murdered. Russ begins to believe preparations are underway for a mass sacrifice, and engages the attentions of a sexy seductress (What?) in order to obtain information. Raped and arrested for murder (WHAT.) on the eve of the May Festival, the stakes are raised for Russ -maybe higher than the world has ever known. (Truly.)“

I don’t know about you, but this sounds like pure gold. What else can we expect from Grant Cogswell, the writer of college textbook “Metro: Journeys in Creative Writing” and frequent contributor to “The Stranger”; and Dan Gildark, the director of the short film “Gunsmokoru”, a “collage of found footage that merged the TV series Gunsmoke and Hong Kong action flicks”.

What genre-defining blockbuster acting can we hope for from stars Jason Cottle of “The Other Sister”, and Tori Spelling of “Beverly Hills 90210″?

Surely we can expect a bombastic soundtrack by Reeltime Music, who for three decades “has been one of Hollywood’s leading providers of dynamic and exciting original creative for theatrical and television trailers and commercials.” Huh?

Let’s support our great city. Please look forward to it.

I’m a huge supporter of our national park system. I love nature, and I like protecting it for future generations.

That said, our national parks don’t seem to have enough funding these days. Why? Well, I assume mostly because of right-wing corporate whores who would rather spend the money on tax breaks for corporations. But there’s another class of people who looks at park funding and goes “wait a minute.” That class of people is me. The few times I’ve been to parks lately, the experience has been less than stellar. I’ve been begged for money at every turn - for parking, for camping, for firewood…I’m tired of it. I’ve been hassled at every turn - for being on a trail “after closing,” for having a dog, for gathering my own firewood. I’m tired of that too.

So national parks - if you want me to vote for funding for you, stop begging me for money, and stop hassling me about using these natural resources that belong to me. It’s worth a little damage to the ecology to let people enjoy themselves in a park. Maybe if we did that we could afford to expand the parks program.

Missed Connection:

Me: Going home from the U District- open car door, juggle bag, keys, camera, and whatnot. I buckle up and drive off and hear a “thunk”. Oh crap, forgot about my cup of lemonade on the roof. Well, it’s gone now, not much I can do about it. I stop at the stoplight ahead. Glance in rearview.

You: Blue van behind me. Hands waving, fingers pointing.

Information not registering to me. What? Oh wait, you’re pointing at the roof! No way. I pull over between the Fire Station and the Plaid Pantry and hop out. Drink remains intact, balanced in groove. Not one drop spilled. I grab the drink and Toast to you, blue van. Firefighters standing around outside look confused. The Miracle Lemonade tastes delicious, and they do not understand.

Thought I would share my feelings of, I just want to play with it!   This is Europe’s bot, check it out

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7561093.stm

It’s like a goddamn third world country out there.

“Those in the crowd were yelling, ‘Hey, white boys, you’re in the ‘hood now!’”

I mean, this is kind of old news, but I thought I’d post it anyway because hey, supporting congressional Democrats is cool.

I want that shirt too.

Today’s poetry reading is brought to you by “Erick Drake” courtesy of a random spam email.

nanosecond chine nanosecond? chine, intention consignor.
conglomerate nanosecond portugal irredentism majestic coverage, confirmatory
portugal thesaurus agribusiness sunday bedrock.

expert parboil nanosecond

giacomo morphine maidenhair? amphetamine, rascal tuple.
agribusiness rascal astute horseback nanosecond agribusiness, consignor
monetary giddy fortnight expert tuple.

consignor hundredth deuterium

coverage horsefly astute? maidenhair, verandah guelph.

tomograph nanosecond.

A few days ago I received the following message via YouTube. It is concerning Part 1 of my Assassin’s Creed video, titled “Assassin’s Creed Multiplayer? Part 1.” I’ve talked about it before, but this is the most fun I’ve ever had with it. The subject of the message I received was “assassins creed multiplayer URGENT!!!!!!”

Hi my name is David and i wowld like to ask you about that video of AC multiplyayer.
I’d like to ask how to make the game multi on PC if that is possible?

Please reply me ASAP!!!

THX!!!

Right away you know it’s important because he’s got “URGENT” in the subject. My reply is after the jump.

Read more

I’ve heard several times from our current president that America comes first, and he’s protecting America. He’s attempted, or directed others to attempt, a full-throated defense of every law he’s made that steps on the freedoms that we’ve decided to hold self evident. In John McCain’s latest ad, one of the lines he uses is “Country first.”

I have a serious problem with this language because even as our elected legislators are enacting laws that eviscerate a number of our Constitutional amendments, it seems like we’re forgetting the oath that our presidents take when they are sworn into office.

“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

I’m focusing here on the last part, where our presidents swear to protect our Constitution, rather than incite blind patriotism to rally support behind “America.”

“America” has become whatever Bush says it is, and that’s not right. America is an ideal. Our Constitution is the framework that the Founders built in an attempt to allow all citizens equal rights, and at the same time limit the strength and reach of each of the three branches of our government. When a president attacks the framework of our ideal, we’ve got a serious problem. How is this man still in office?